


only fools fall (for you)

by amazingkamisnotonfire



Category: Noli Me Tangere & Related Works - José Rizal
Genre: (Is that still a thing), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Anxiety, Banter, Basura™, Cliche, Denial, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Homophobia, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I blame Jose Rizal for this trash, I have become Elibarra trash help, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Lies, Love Triangles, Lovers to Friends, M/M, MarJuan, More characters to be added, More tags to be added, One-Sided Relationship, Sarcasm, Slow Burn, Snark, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Teenagers, Title inspired by Troye Sivan my bby boy, UST, Unresolved Sexual Tension, elibarra - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2018-10-16 08:54:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10567902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingkamisnotonfire/pseuds/amazingkamisnotonfire
Summary: For the longest time, Crisostomo always thought that Maria Clara was his soulmate. He knew he felt something while looking at her eyes for the first time when they were young.It seems that he was completely, utterly wrong.- AU where the name of your soulmate is written on your wrist. -





	1. Chapter 1

The July air is crisp and cool still, despite it being in the middle of the summer season. Crisostomo Ibarra is taking long strides inside oval in the campus, wearing a cardigan over his uniform.  
  
Today was his birthday. Some call their 18th birthdays the _'pagtatali ng tali'_  which is a metaphor for weddings and such. But for Crisostomo, it's the last proof for his and Maria Clara's love. His soulmate marker is going to decide whether Maria is really his soulmate.  
  
For once, Crisostomo never doubted that.  
  
'Maria, Maria!' Crisostomo called out to his loving girlfriend. Maria turned around and saw the former running towards her. Her friends,  Sinang and Victoria, who are with her are mumbling and giggling to themselves.  
  
'O, Crisostomo...' Maria smiled tightly to her boyfriend. 'Hindi ba may Calculus ka this period?'  
  
'Yeah, but may five minutes pa so I thought I might see you?' Crisostomo grinned.  
  
'Ah.' The shy girl just chuckled, although her expression is troubled.  
  
'You okay?' Crisostomo frowned, worry etched on his features. He swiped the stray hair covering her beautiful face and held her cheeks.  
  
'Mauna na kami sa canteen, Maria and Crisostomo!' Sinang called out while dragging Victoria with her. The two girls quickly went away, leaving the couple alone.  
  
'Tell me what's wrong, Maria.' Crisostomo gently prodded.  
  
'Wala, wala,' Maria turned her face and walked suddenly. Crisostomo caught up to her.  
  
'Kilala kita, Maria,' Crisostomo said, 'So, c'mon, tell me.'  
  
Maria sighed and looked at her boyfriend, whom is staring intently at her. 'It's just that... birthday mo ngayon.'  
  
'Um, so?'  
  
'What if... you know?' Maria looked down.  
  
'What? 'Di ko gets, Maria.'  
  
'What if we weren't really soulmates?' Maria whispered, as if her worst fears are realised.   
  
That made Crisostomo stop. Honestly, he bever thought about it. He is her soulmate. It had to be.  
  
Some people call him a fool. ('Oh, bakit jinowa mo yan si Maria agad?  Hindi ka pa 18 'diba?' 'Delikado 'yan, Cris. Wala ka pang soulmate marker.') But he's just going by for what he feels. And he's in love with Maria Clara. Have been since he was 10. And he knows, he believes that Maria Clara feels the same way. He is her soulmate. It needs to be. Or else...  
  
Or else Crisostomo is going to be lost.  
  
'Yun lang pala, eh!' Crisostomo grinned, although a seed of doubt is slowly growing at the back of his head. 'Don't worry about it.'  
  
'How could you say that?' Maria said, disbelief evident in her eyes. 'Paano pag hindi yung pangalan ko yung hindi  written on your wrist?'  
  
'It will.' Crisostomo said soothingly, kissing the top of her head. 'Sabi ko, don't worry.'  
  
Maria just closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Fine,' she forced a smile and looked at him in the eyes. 'Whatever happens, okay, Crisostomo?'  
  
'Whatever happens.' Crisostomo repeats.  
  
They both parted ways - mainly, because Crisostomo still have classes and Sinang and Victoria are waiting for Maria inside the canteen. But before Crisostomo went on his class, he saw his supposed 'rival' Elias staring strangely at him.  Crisostomo raised his left eyebrow. The other boy just curled his mouth in a slightly menacing way and broke his stare.  
  
'Okay, weird...' Crisostomo thought but didn't dwell much on it. He went to his classes.  
  
Later was his birthday, anyway and when he turns eighteen - the exact strike of 12 o'clock in the clock - his soulmate's name will apear on his wrist. And it will be Maria, he's sure of it. They already planned a future for the two of them.  
  
Crisostomo belongs to Maria Clara and Maria belongs to him, and him only.  
  
Not a damn soulmate marker is going to change that.

* * *

 

Crisostomo's party is unsurprisingly crowded. Friends, relatives, and strangers are scattered everywhere. It was noisy and uncomfortable - just like how Filipino parties are. The smell of tinola (Crisostomo's favourite) and other Filipino classic foods filled the air and Crisostomo is sure that everyone is hungry. Because that's what everyone go to parties for - to eat food.

Even though he's not technically eighteen, people often celebrate their pre-eighteenth birthday for the sole reason of their wrists identifying their soulmates. 

  
The party is located in his father's house, the infamous Rafael Ibarra. That's why it's packed with guests - his father's popular and kind with everyone. And a lot of people are interested in him mainly because he was, well, rich. So is Crisostomo, if he was being modest.  
  
He spotted his father greeting every guests with a smile and a polite handshake. He smiled fondly and went near to his father's side who immediately starts bragging his son to everyone. 'Oh, alam niyo ba itong anak ko-'  
  
Crisostomo just bowed his head while his father practically praised him. His mind then wandered to Maria Clara. He haven't seen her since the party started. Then, he saw Sinang dancing with some guy on the dancefloor. 'Baka alam niya kung nasaan si Maria.' Crisostomo thought to himself.  
  
He excused himself from his father's entourage and ask for the girl's hands. The guy she was dancing with just glared at him and let go.  
  
'Ooh, thank God, Cris!' Sinang practically flung herself to Crisostomo. 'That guy was such a creep!'  
  
Crisostomo's eyebrows drew upwards. 'Why didn't you just leave him, then?'  
  
'I thought of it but mukha siyang kawawa eh! I feel kinda bad, 'lam mo yun?' Crisostomo just laughed.  Sinang, ever so blunt.  
  
'Um, Sinang, nakita mo ba si Maria Clara?' Crisostomo asked. He's kind of worried as of now.  
  
'I knew it! You didn't want to dance with me in the first place!' Sinang said jokingly, her lips forming a pout. Crisostomo chuckld. 'Yeah, she's on the rooftop. Nagmumuni-muni.'  
  
'Thanks, 'Nang!' He let go of the girl and started turning away.  
  
'Heartbreaker!' She yelled. Crisostomo just turned around stuck his tongue out. Sinang laughed. He basically ran to the stairwell and quickly jogged upstairs. He saw Maria Clara sitting on the makeshift couch near the balcony. Crisostomo instantly smiled at the sight and dug his pocket for his cellphone. He snapped a photo but was busted when there was a loud 'click'  
  
Maria Clara turned around, her hair sweeping het fair face. Crisostomo's stomach did a turn. 'Oops?'  
  
'Cris naman eh. Burahin mo yan!' Maria whined. Crisostomo grinned. Maria hated it when people take photos of her without her consent. Crisostomo is one of the suspect (and the reasons why.)  
  
Crisostomo went closer and sat next to the girl, putting his arms around her and letting her rest against his chest. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, a small smile present on his lips. 'Okay ka lang?'  
  
There was a beat before Maria answered. 'Yes.'  
  
'Sure?'  
  
'Opo.'  
  
'Good.' Crisostomo sighed in relief. They stayed like that for awhile, cuddling while the noise from downstairs became a white noise, and the moon peeking from the dark clouds feels like it's watching them intently. There was a long, comfortable silence until Maria broke it.  
  
'Last minute na.' She said simply. She didn't say what for but Crisostomo knew exactly what she meant.  
  
He tried to be calm but his heart is pounding on his chest, he's sure she can feel it. 'Hey, look at me,' he coaxed Maria. She looked at him with slightly sad eyes. 'Whatever happens?'  
  
'Whatever happens.' Then, he leaned closer and captured her lips with his own. He let go gently and felt the tears rolling on her cheeks. Crisostomo just smiled. 'Hey, wag ka nang umiyak, please?'  
  
'Crisostomo, it's 12am.' The words rang in Crisostomo's head. Suddenly, he stood up and looked at his covered wrists. 'Fuck, bakit ba ako nag-long sleeves? Mas lalo tuloy akong kinakabahan.' Crisostomo cursed under his breath.  
  
The tense in the air is slowly choking Crisostomo. He gulped closed his eyes, slowly unbuttoningthe buttons on his long-sleeve shirt. He rolled his sleeves up and slowly opened his eyes.

 

 

The name ' _Elias_ ' is written on his wrist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, what did you think guys? It's trash right? Lmaooooo. 
> 
> I'll probably add more anyway bc #elibarra amirite


	2. Chapter 2

' _Is this a fucking joke?!'_ was Crisostomo's first thought.  
  
'' _Why is it Elias_?' was his second reaction.  
  
While his mind is panicking and thinking of all the curses in the world, both Filipino and English - he took a deep breath and looked at Maria Clara, who is staring at him hopefully. He felt an ache in his heart when he saw her face.  
  
_'Fuck, fuck, fuck. Paano ko to aayusin?_ ' he thought, and wasn't that the question of the century.  
  
The most logical thing to do is to just confess. It's only fair to Maria Clara to know his supposed 'soulmate' (which, by the way, never going to happen.) In that way, this won't go any further and they'd only get hurt less.  
  
But on the other hand, he could lie to Maria Clara and pretend it was her name that was on his left wrist. In that way, they would still be couple and go on in their lives. Maria would never be hurt.  
  
The latter sounds like a really good idea and preferrable for him. But..  
  
... _how the fuck would he do it?_  
  
'Crisostomo!' Maria yelled in his face, tears already dried off on her cheeks.  
  
'Sorry, sorry,' Crisostomo shook his head, forcing a really fake smile. 'Sorry for zoning out, I'm just really happy.'  
  
'So...?' Maria's hopeful face intensified as she looked at him.  
  
'Yes! You're my soulmate!' He tried his best to be as enthusiastic as possible but his voice quivered when said thr word 'soulmate.' He hopes Maria wouldn't notice.  
  
Maria let out a small squeal and hugged the older boy. (Apparently, she didn't notice.) He let out a fake laugh, and despite his heart hammering on chest, hugged the other girl back. He longed to make Maria happy.  
  
Maria broke the hug and gave Crisostomo a peck on both cheeks before hugging him tightly again. Crisostomo sighed in relief but then his mind wandered to Elias. 'Does he even know? Wait, how old is that guy?'  
  
Maria's voice snapped him out of his stupor. 'C'mon, baka hinahanap na nila tayo sa baba.'  
  
Maria broke the hug again and held his hand, smiling massively. 'Thank you for this, Crisostomo.'  
  
'Let's share the good news, shall we?' Crisostomo winked and smiled at the girl back.  
  
'Pero, seriously, Cris, thank you,' Maria looked at him, smile still present on her lips. 'I've been so worried at nothing!'  
  
Crisostomo just forced a smile. Maria laughed giddily again. 'C'mon, soulmate!'  
  
No more problems for now. Thank God.  
  
'Hmm, you know what? We just have to wait for my birthday nalang.' Maria reminded him, linking her arms around his.  
  
Crisostomo laughed nervously. 'Ha, yeah..'  
  
Well, except for that.

* * *

For as long as anyone can remember, the Bonifacios hated the Ibarras. For what reason? No one had an idea. His father didn't pay much attention to it because he's a saint like that.  
  
It was also a known fact that Elias Bonifacio hates Crisostomo's guts. Made his school life a living hell when they were sophomores. (It's not like Crisostomo can't take it.) But that suddenly changed a few months. It's like he suddenly stopped hating him. He resorted to just staring intensely at everyone. He just seemed... lost and sad.  
  
But kudos to the guy, Elias. He's one of the smartest student in the whole school. He gets top scores without even trying. He's also the captain of the school's football team. A lot of people say he's very mysterious. Whereas, Crisostomo would often stay at the schoo library or hang with Maria Clara in the school oval. Crisostomo have a lot of friends and is fairly popular, if he's being honest but he doesn't socialise much. But if it were close friends, he's very open and flamboyant. They were complete oppposites. So, why the hell are they soulmates?  
  
That's something Crisostomo is pondering over as he paced around outside Elias' classroom. He just needs to talk to this guy, ask him whether he knows something or not. That's it, incase you're thinking of something else.  
  
The class bell rang, indicating that it's lunch. Crisostomo had his back leaned on a wall, his head bowed down. Finally, he heard the heavy footsteps and the ear-ringing noise that came from the students.

Suddenly, the hallway was filled with students rushing to God-knows-where. He tilted his head to the side, looking for any indicator that Elias is somewhere. He saw a messy manbun - that's Elias trademark hair. Crisostomo went through the sea of students and when he spotted Elias, he walked faster to catch up with him.  
  
Suddenly, his chest pounded and his stomach turned. Crisostomo dismissed this feeling and just shook his head. He tapped the boy on th e shoulder when he finally caught up with him.  
  
Elias turned around and looked down - which is a slight exaggeration, he's just a few inches taller than him - and suddenly his breath is caught in his throat. They stood there, staring at each other for a few seconds when finally Crisostomo got ahold of himself. He cleared his throat and spoke, 'We need to talk.'  
  
He hoped his voice would be clear and he really tried hard not to let his voice crack but what he said totally sounds like a whimper.  
  
As he walked away, with Elias behind him, Crisostomo's thoughts went array. The right side of his brain was screaming, 'What the fuck just happened? That was a total fail!' while the left side of his brain is yelling, 'What the fuck just happened? That was amazing!'  
  
Honestly, Crisostomo have no idea. When he saw a set of stairwell leading to the rooftop of the school, he quickly jogged up to it. When he looked at Elias finally, he was just standing there, staring at him. Crisostomo just rolled his eyes and beckoned at him. 'Dalian mo!' Elias, who seemed out of trance, just followed him without even saying anything.  
  
The school's rooftop serves as the school's mini botanical garden and greenhouse. It's filled with various kinds of plants, flowers, and small trees.  It's where researches are conducted and experiments are made. And how could Crisostomo, it's also the famous making-out spot here in school.  
  
Crisostomo wants to slap his forehead. 'Bakit 'ko ba nilalagay yung sarili ko in these kind of situations?' He cursed himself.  
  
When they finally reached the top, Crisostomo thought of the things he would ask. He recited it in his head.  
  
Suddenly, Elias' suddenly spoke, his voice seems like it's a decibel higher than normal. 'So, dinala mo ba 'ko dito para mag-momol?'  
  
When he turned to him, the other boy was smirking but his eyes seems glazed over. 'No!' Crisostomo slitted his eyes. 'What the fuck, man...' his voice trailed.  
  
Elias just held his hands up in mock protest, and walked closer to the garden, observing the leafy plants. Crisostomo just watched him.  
  
'So as you know, birthday ko last week.' Crisostomo started. Elias' entire body went rigid. 'And I have something to ask you.'  
  
Elias turned around and looked at Crisostomo intently, his expression is clouded with something Crisostomo can't identify. He cleared his throat uneasily. 'Uh, did you know about the...' his gaze flickered to the other boy's wrist.  
  
Understanding dawned over Elias. The other boy almost stumbled as he walked towards Crisostomo. The latter just looked at him, confused and dazed.  
  
'So, is it really...?' Elias smiled stupidly.  
  
Crisostomo's face reddened. 'Yes,' he says firmly. 'Now, how do I cover it?'  
  
That made Elias stop. 'Ha?'  
  
'How do I cover it?' Crisostomo repeated. 'Dapat hindi ito malalaman ni Maria Clara.'  
  
For a split second, Elias seemed like he was ready to punch Crisostomo in the face. He sighed deeply and looked at Crisostomo srraight in the eyes. There it was again, chest pounding and stomach turning. 'So, this is about Maria Clara, huh?'  
  
All Crisostomo could do was produce a small 'mhm-hmm' sound. Elias was looking at him... weirdly.  
  
'Alam mo, excited pa naman akong malaman kung sino yung soulmate ko pero nung nakita ko yung pangalan mo-'  
  
'Hang on, ilang taon ka na ba?' Crisosto interrupted. 'Wait, let me rephrase the question: kelan birthday mo?'  
  
Elias seems nonplussed. 'I just turned 18 nung November.' The younger boy just gaped. 'Anything else, mahal na prinsipe?' he quipped sarcastically.

'You knew?!' Crisostomo almost yelled. 'All this time, alam mo?! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin?'  
  
'Habang kayo pa ni Maria Clara?' Elias snapped. 'Sabihin mo nga sakin, anong gagawin mo kapag yung tatanga-tanga mong soulmate may mahal na iba?'  
  
Crisostomo was speechless. He tried saying something but his mouth failed him.  
  
Elias kicked a poor plant and let out a curse. 'Mauna na ko. Good luck sainyo ni Maria Clara.'  
  
Crisostomo wanted to stop him but Elias' voice sounded so sad.. so far away that made the boy stay rooted on his spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I used Jose Rizal's birthday for Ibarra, and Andres Bonifacio's birthday for Elias. Yes, I ship Rizal and Bonifacio, too. 
> 
> Shut up. 
> 
> (I'm tainting our history tbh)
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you guys liked the chapter. Leave a kudos or comment. Or something.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'ed. Sorry. This is supposed to be longer but eh I got lazy. Wanted something to be updated so.... 
> 
> This chapter is kinda cliche idk. You guys be the judge. Also sorry any mistakes. I didn't edit any of this shit. 
> 
> Enjoy, you guys. Leave a comment or kudos :D
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Noli Me Tangere or any of these characters. All rights go to Rizal my homeboy.

  
Crisostomo paced around in his room, looking frazzled and obviously lacking sleep. His disheveled hair and the bags under his eyes are evidences that he's worried about something. He's panicking - and for the good reasons.   
  
It's been a week since his birthday and well, he's locked up in his apartment, avoiding human contact and cooped up together with his old friends - guilt and anxiety.   
  
He's never lied to Maria Clara before. And he knows, deep down, this will not go well. So why the hell did he do it?   
  
Well, selfishness, to name one reason.   
  
"Okay, okay," Crisostomo took a deep breath. "How do I fix this?" He whispered to himself. He knows he looks crazy but talking to himself out loud helps him most of the times, especially when feeling anxious.   
  
He groaned, feeling a headache coming on. He was about to have a mental breakdown when suddenly his phone rang. He swiped the screen and brought his phone close to his ears, breathing out a huge sigh while doing so. "Hello?" He greets the caller.   
  
"Hi, Cris!" Maria Clara's voiced filled his ears.   
  
"Oh, hey, MC."   
  
"You busy today?"  
  
"Uh," He didn't know why but he doesn't feel like going out today, with Maria Clara out of all people. "Yeah, actually."  
  
"Oh."  She sounds disappointed which made the guilt creeping up in Crisostomo's chest expand. He bit his lip.   
  
"But I could always make an exception for you. Saan tayo?"  
  
The girl let out a small squeal and began telling him the place where she wants to go. Crisostomo just smiled.   
  
***  
  
They met at a local mall near Crisostomo's apartment, where he found her waiting and sipping an iced coffee, her face buried on her phone. Crisostomo went to her and gave him a tight hug, the dimple on her left cheek is prominent as she grinned at him.   
  
'You look cute, Cris.' Maria Clara complimented her boyfriend, causing Crisostomo to blush profusely.   
  
'Mas cute ka.' Crisostomo countered. The girl just looked away, face obviously reddening,  and dragged Crisostomo's arm to the mall's entrance.   
  
They strolled inside the mall for a while, scanning for things they might find interesting. Crisostomo had his eyes in a particular book he saw: /The Time Keeper/ by Mitch Albom. He's always wanted to buy that book but he knew he would never get around in reading it, and he knows it would just end up somewhere in his room.   
  
He sighed and averted his eyes from the book. 'Someday,' he thought to himself.   
  
'Did you want something?' asked Maria Clara. She was looking at Crisostomo with big, bright eyes. Seeing her eyes filled with light and love, that he knows will fade soon, brings back the feeling of guilt and remorse.   
  
Then, he starts talking, his words tumbling with each other. 'Listen, I need to tell you something. It's...' he paused, feeling like his breath is caught up in his throat. 'Basta importante 'to.'  
  
Crisostomo must look really stressed right now because Maria gave him a surprised but concerned look. 'Woah, what got you switch mood all of a sudden?'  
  
'I fucked up, okay?' There. He blurted it put already.   
  
'Okay, um, let's go somewhere private.' She replies uncertainly. Crisostomo just sighs heavily and feel his heart slowly pound in his chest.   
  
***  
  
'Kalma, Cris, you're kinda freaking me out.' Maria Clara spoke after the unbearable silence. They're currently standing awkwardly on a parking lot under the mall grounds. There were no people, except the security guard nearby, who looks bored out of his mind. 

'Sorry,' muttered the boy. He took a deep breath (he seems to do that a lot) and looked firmly at Maria's... forehead.   
  
Alright, he admits, he's a coward.   
  
Crisostomo feels his hand tremble. He tries to shake it away and focus on what he's going to say. "Look, um, I don't know how to start this but please, when I say it, please don't get mad at me. You're my best friend and my rock, and 'di ko alam kung makakaya ko na-'  
  
'Cris, you're stalling.' Maria cuts off his sentence, a soft smile present on her mouth. 'Sabihin mo na kasi.'  
  
Crisostomo feels like crying, which is a veey bad option right now. Besides, he rarely cries. He didn't even cry when his mother died but being with Maria like this, his loving and patient Maria, his only thought is, 'How could I let this happen?' Now, he's only making it worse. Each moment that passes, they draw closer to the inevitable. Honestly, he doesn't know if he's prepared.   
  
For a brief second, he wonders what will happen if Maria finds out. What will she do to him?   
  
Crisostomo shook his head and concentrated on his thoughts. What's the first thing he should say...?   
  
'Uh,' he started but his mind went blank. He tried to think of something - anything that would at least alleviate this suffocating tension.   
  
This is it, he's going to say it, damn the consequences. 'Maria...' he says. This is it, no more turning back. 'Actually, can I go to the CR a bit?'  
  
He cursed internally. Maria's face fell but she quickly recovered and mumbled a 'sure' Crisostomo feels like smacking his face. He never felt this kind of anxiety before and well, it sucks, to put it lightly.   
  
Crisostomo dashed inside the mall, making his way to the mall's bathroom. Having the sudden urge to punch himself in the face, he spotted the sign to the mall's bathroom. His mind in in chaos as he walked, praying his face doesn't show any signs of anxiety.   
  
'Way to chicken out, Ibarra.' he chided himself. He sighed as he entered the boy's lavatory, closing the door as quietly as he could. He turned to face his reflection on the mirror, and cringed upon seeing his frazzled hair and stressed out face.   
  
God, he's stressing _way_  too much about this whole debacle.   
  
Suddenly, his heart started beating faster than normal and the insides of his stomach began turning... pleasantly. What the fuck? He just shook his head and dismissed the feeling.   
  
Crisostomo stood infront of a clean-looking (atleast, he hoped) urinals and went on with his business as fast as he could, washing his hands after he's done. He looked in the mirror and rest his palms on the sink, and gave himself a small encouragement, because dammit, nobody's gotta do it but him. 'Kaya mo to, Cris. Just say it. Si Maria lang naman.' He muttered the last part.   
  
Right after he said those words, the sound of toilet being flushed rang in his ears. Crisostomo flushed. He didn't even notice that there are people inside the lavatory other than him, and thay one of the stalls are occupied. Cheeks still flaming, he hurried to fix himself and is preparing to leave the bathroom when the sight of a familiar, rugged-looking guy stopped him. He froze as he stared at the man making his way towards the sink.   
  
When their eyes met, Elias stopped and stared at him. Crisostomo defiantly stared back, feeling like his heart is going to plummet down to his stomach and his skin about to burst. The stayed like that for awhile and whilst Crisostomo may seem cool and collected, his body feels like it's burning softly.    
  
Finally, Elias seems to snap out of his stupor and nodded his head at Crisostomo's direction, acknowledging the other man's presence.  The latter felt like he'd been slapped but Elias didn't seem to notice his reaction. Crisotomo just shook his head and ignored the disappointment sinking in.   
  
He took one last look at himself and made his way through the lavatory door, his footsteps felt heavy. He stood infront of the door and stopped, thinking that maybe he should say something. Maybe a goodbye, perhaps? 

 

'Wait, what the fuck? I'm not doing that. Maria's waiting, anyway.' He snapped at himself, and gripped the door handle and turned it but it won't budge. He raised his eyebrows and turned it a bit harder but the door still wouldn't open.   
  
Crisostomo gripped and turned it furiously but still, nothing. He cursed quietly and tried banging the doorknob but he still cannot open.   
  
'Oi, may galit ka ba sa pinto, ha?' Elias' voice suddenly popped up. Crisostomo turned and saw the taller man walking nearer. He cleared his throat and answered simply, 'Ayaw mabuksan eh.'  
  
Elias walked nearer until he, too, is in front of the door. Crisostomo felt his breath hitch at the man's sudden near proximity, and shuffled away to give the man personal place. Elias tried turning the budge a few times but it still wouldn't budge. He groaned and rested his back on the wall, looking at Crisostomo. 'Stuck tayo dito.'  
  
Crisostomo knows he should be panicking but he feels... weirdly relieved. Then the image of Maria waiting on that parking lot suddenly came to mind. 'Shit, si Maria hinihintay pa ako.'  
  
Elias snorted but tried to hide it with a cough. Crisostomo shot him a sharp glare, which the other man responded with an innocent smile. Crisostomo felt himself soften and blush.   
  
'Alam mo tawag dito?' Elias started, and Crisostomo doesn't like that tone. At all.  
  
'What?' He reluctantly asked, suspiciously looking at the taller man.   
  
'Destiny.' Elias grinned cheekily. Crisostomo's cheeks reddened as he groaned miserably.   
  
Great, so he's stuck with this asshole. How cliche can this all be? 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.' - Rainbow Rowell

It's been roughly 50 minutes, and Crisostomo is already irritated. The two boys are still stuck together in the lavatory, and honestly, Crisostomo is surprised that no one even bothered to come in here or ask a personnel why it's locked. Seriously, what is up with this mall? He lets out a long sigh from where he is sitting, which is on the counter. He's bored, cranky, and he's getting worried for Maria. He looks at Elias, who is sitting calmly on the floor, using his phone like it was the mlst normal thing to do in situations like this.  
  
'Should we call someone?' Crisostomo looked at the taller boy, his brows furrowing with concern. 'Emergency naman 'to eh.'  
  
Elias finally looked away from his phone and scrutinized Crisostomo, which made the younger boy reddened. He smacked his lips together, and raised his eyebrows, looking like he's deep in thought. Crisostmo briefly wondered if this guy is bullshitting him or not. 'Tama ka nga, Prince.'  
  
Now it's Crisostomo's turn to raise his eyebrows. 'I am..?'  
  
'Yup.'  
  
'Okay...?' Crisostomo's voice trailed off. He cleared his throat and looked anywhere but Elias. 'Uh, wait, let me check my phone.'  
  
'Good luck, _Prince,'_  Elias said, his face straight. Crisostomo looked at him for a second, wondering what the hell had gotten in the other boy's head. He rolls his eyes, stands up from his seat on the counter, mumbling, 'Don't call me that.'  
  
'Bakit hindi, Prince?' Elias asked, with a hint of laughter and curiosity in his voice. Crisostomo just kept his lips pursed, and took out his phone from his pockets, unlocked it and checked the time. He noticed that the there are no signal bars, so they have no hope of getting out of here whatsoever. Crisostomo can feel him looking at him but he stares resolutely at his phone, even though it's practically useless for the both of them. He let out an annoyed groan, and furiously pocketed his phone.  
  
'Oh, ano?' Elias asks, but he doesn't seem to care because he's just lazily sitting on the floor, looking bored. Crisostomo looked at him again, unnerved. How is this guy not freaking out?

'Well, sorry for trying! Gusto ko lang namna makalabas here, dude.' He almost folds his arms but stopped himself. Right, that would look childish in front of his soulma- wait, no. No, no, no. He's not his soulmate. He could never accept it. This has to be some kind of mistake. Plus, he's not even gay! This annoying, insufferable thug cannot possibly be his soulmate  
  
'Aww, ganun mo ba talaga ako kaayaw?' Elias pouts, his eyes are parted sadly but there's a mischievous glint in there, too. Crisostomo just glared at him, his cheeks reddening. Of course, he does! They hate each other... right?  
  
As a matter of fact, yes.' He says firmly.  
  
Elias stepped closer. 'Are you sure?'  
  
'Yes,' Crisostomo answers, but there was a lump in his throat. There was a slight flutter in his stomach and he tries to convince himself that it's because he hasn't ate breakfast.  
  
'Uh-huh?' Elias has definitely taken a big step forward because suddenly they were facing, their foreheads are almost touching and the feel of Elias' nose lingers. Whenever their skin brush, Crisostomo feels like combusting. Elias' eyes are lidded, looking dazed.  
  
Crisostomo's chest feels full, like something is rousing inside, filling him up. Something like... fire, threatening to spill out and spontaneously combust if he couldn't keep it. He tried finding for something witty or sassy to say but none came.  
  
There was that lump in his throat again. He gulped and licked his dry lips. Like a magnet, Elias' gaze fell to the younger boy's mouth and Crisostomo watched as Elias' Adam apple bobbed up and down. He was still looking at his lips, absolutely entranced.  
  
Elias raised his hands, making Crisostomo cringe, but this didn't stop the older boy to slip his fingers through the younger boy's hair, petting it down. Crisostomo held his breath when those hands trail down, grazing his cheeks with his firm but gentle palm.  
  
Elias' gaze left his lips and he's looking at his nose, and then his cheeks, and then his forehead, hungrily taking it all in so the image of Crisostomo's face stays in his memory - like he's trying to learn every detail of Crisostomo's face by heart, like he might slip out of his hands.  
  
Crisostomo suddenly forgets about everything - Maria Clara, the paper due tomorrow, his own name, even - and in that moment, in that exact second, he wants Elias to kiss him.  
  
That thought snapped him out of reverie. After struggling for something to say, he blurted out a, 'Layuan mo nga ako!' which should have sounded firmer and more masculine like he hoped but that crack in his voice definitely ruined it. He pushed the older boy away, his heart beating wildly like a caged animal.  
  
Elias' eyes widened. He took a step back from the younger boy, his whole body just slumps downward. Crisostomo just turned his back on him, his mind is in a frenzy and the fire in his chest is ablaze. He's out of breath, yet he never felt this kind of thrumming thrill in his whole life before. Especially not from Maria Clara.  
  
'Sorry,' Elias says, but it was so faint Crisostomo wonders if he really heard it or not. Honestly, he doesn't know what to say it. He's pretty shaken up and his mind is still befuddled and loaded with questions, but unfortunately, they were never answered when suddenly the door swung open with a panic-stricken employee, the keys jangling in his hands noisily. About time.  
  
The employee looks like he's ready for customer's rage, Crisostomo feels a little bad. 'Pasensya na ho, mga sir! Nawala po kasi yung mga susi sa C.R! Pasensya na po talaga sa abala. Pwede po kayong mag-reklamo sa Customer's Service kung gusto niyo, sorry po-'  
  
Crisostomo cut the babbling employee. 'That won't be necessary. Next time, wag mo nang ulitin..," He squints his eyes and looked at the namecard, 'Lucas.'  
  
'Yes po, sir! Sorry po uli!' Lucas looks relieved. Crisostomo just pats his back and exits, followed shortly by Elias, who is uncharacteristically solemn.

The younger boy just looks at him, but was surprised when he finds the older boy already staring at him. He feels his face flush, racking his brain for something to say. Elias just continued looking at him apologetically and broke his gaze, stuffing his hands on the pockets of his jeans and went on his way. Crisotomo watched him go, feeling strange.  
  
Promptly, his phone began vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and was pleasantly surprised by the amount of messages and calls he missed. 46 messages and 5 missed calls. All from Maria Clara. 'Shit,' he whispers with spirit, feeling anxious. He hastily pressed the call button near Maria's name and prayed for death. It didn't even get to two rings when the girl answers. He was greeted by a, ' _Crisostomo, what the hell! Nasaan ka nagpunta_?!'  
  
'MC, kalma! Na-stuck kasi ako sa CR.'  
  
' _Seriously_?' Maria sounds doubtful, but concerned.  
  
'Yes, nawala daw yung keys or something.' He says lamely.  
  


' _Oh. Okay, then. I'm sorry. Umuwi na ko, I hope you don't mind. I thought you bailed kasi_.'  
  
'Right, that's okay. Sorry, Maria.' He closes his eyes in shame.  
  
_'It's okay. Next time nalang_?'  
  
He agrees, then the two of them said their goodbyes. Crisostomo just sighed and made his way to the exit, his mind drifting towards to the thought of Elias, seemingly already have forgotten about Maria. He shook his head, blaming it on his tired brain and the lack of sleep.  
  
What a day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The reason why they are so drawn to each other is because they are soulmates. Unfotunately, they are idiots and haven't acted upon it.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this filler chapter (really just wanted to update something tbh)
> 
> Don't forget to leave a kudos and comment! Really appreciate it, my dudes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ang bagyo ng tadhana ay  
> Dinadala ako sa init ng bisig mo  
> Ba't 'di pa sabihin  
> Ang hindi mo maamin?  
> Ipa-uubaya na lang ba 'to sa hangin?  
> Huwag mong ikatakot,  
> Ang bulong ng damdamin mo." 
> 
> \- Tadhana by Up Dharma Down

Classes have ended an hour ago and it’s almost 4pm, but Crisostomo is still in school. The library, to be exact. There’s a comfortable silence and stillness surrounding the place, as all libraries should be. The place might be too small to fit actual bookcases, but it’s enough for Crisostomo. The school head didn’t believe that the library should be a part of the budget allocation, which made him a little mad, but it does have everything a student may need for their students. Educational and recreational books, three sets of computers, and long tables where students can relax have a good read.

That’s exactly what Crisostomo is doing, especially that finals is upon him, in like three weeks but it doesn’t hurt to prepare early. That’s his study routine anyway, and he can’t afford losing his scholarship. He has his back turned to a bookcase placed in the darkest and most secluded part of the library. He claims it as his own place. Since no one actually even goes in the library, no one knows this secret spot of his. Crisostomo’s left leg is bent whereas his left arm is resting and holding a book he’s reading, while his right leg is just propped on the surprisingly carpeted floor. This is where he feels the most relaxed, the bright glare from the windows is kissing his cheek, providing a pleasant warmth.

It’s been almost a week since that mall incident with Elias and since then, that’s the last time the two of them ever formed any type of communication. So far, he’s glad that that’s a case. He doesn’t want to dwell too much on what happened… there. That stays between the two of them. Between him, at least. The feeling of unease settles in Crisostomo's stomach. Would Elias really dare to tell on him? He shakes the thought away, besides no one would believe him. They would both look bad in everybody, and he’s with Maria Clara.

He also decided not to tell Maria anymore. It’s not lying, per se, more like abandoning a version of a truth. Who cares if someone else’s name is written on his wrist? He  _loves_ Maria Clara, that’s the truth. People nowadays tend to get so traditional with this soulmate crap, but the truth is; who you love is who you love. Plus, nobody's getting hurt. It’s not like Elias is in love with him, anyway.

A brief image of Elias looking at him with those heavy-lidded eyes of his crosses his mind and in Crisostomo’s sanctuary of books, he allows himself to blush. No one has ever looked at him like that and he is not sure if he likes it or not. He breathes deeply and tries to dispose of that thought.  _‘Shit, naka-ilang oras na ba ako dito?’_ he thinks to himself and immediately decided that he needed to get out of here. Maybe a brisk walk with the fresh air might be good for him. He stands up, picks up all the books he equipped with one hand and returns them to the librarian, giving the old lady a charming smile before gathering his things. Crisostomo grabs his letterman bag and quietly walks towards the exit, closing the doors as gingerly as he could.

Crisostomo scans the hallways, his short legs are already aching from walking too fast, but the pain was ignored by the boy, who is pondering deeply. Once again second-guessing himself he thought about his decision. Would it truly make her happy if she found it that he lied to her? Her birthday is still due for two months, and time is ticking away. Of course, he could just… let her find out all by herself. Lay out the clues for her, see if she gets it. Albeit the thought sounds much easier and honestly, less hassle to handle but it would contradict Crisostomo's morals. Guilt would nag at his conscience and it would not be at all fair with Maria Clara.

 _"T_ _he truth emerges, like a wild animal. The truth is too powerful to be caged."_ Crisostomo read this somewhere once, and it has stuck with him since.

'Crisostomo, look out!'

He cannot be dishonest to Maria Clara, when all she's ever done is to trust and believe in him.

The poor boy was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear his name being shouted by other people, or did not see the bat that went flying to him and knocked him out. He fell and immediately brushes his fingers over his head. There is definitely a distinguishable bump there, and it seemed to have split open too, allowing the blood to freely gush out of the wound. He hisses in pain and wipes his bloodied hand with a clean handkerchief. He places his trusted hanky on top of the wound, to stop the bleeding. He curses at himself for not bring a first aid kit when he needed it the most

Injuries were not new to him. He didn't grow up with a lot of people but his mother, when she was still alive, taught him everything he needed to know about medicine and injuries. He knows how to mend and fend for people, and for himself.

There were heavy steps coming toward him and the shadow blocked out the harsh sunlight, as the figure crouches before him. 'Okay ka lang?'

'Malamang hindi,' he snaps, and looks up, eyes narrowed.

 

It was Elias.

'I think I'm having a concussion,' he dizzily announced, blinking blearily but fighting to stay awake. His head really hurt.

Elias cursed softly and tries to help him up. Students are already milling around and asking if he was okay, or bleeding, or an amnesiac. ( _Seriously_?) He eyes Elias' calloused hands wearily and accepts his hand, ignoring the jolt of something like electricity that shoots down to his arms. Immediately, he felt nauseous already and  he almost let go then, but Elias' grip on him was firm and strong, like he never wants to let go.

As they walk towards the clinic, Elias lets go of his hand and Crisostomo had to keep up with his long, athletic legs. Crisostomo feels a wave of disappointment as he tries to walk faster than his legs would allow it. When he realises that there is no point in trying, he complains, of course. ‘Can you not walk so fast, please? It’s hard to keep up.’ He huffs.

Elias turns around, his long, brown hair sweeping around him. Then, he chuckles. “Ha, masungit ka pala pag may concussion.’

‘Ulol.’ The curse felt foreign on Crisostomo’s mouth, as he was used to cursing in English. Elias laughs, mirth shining in his eyes. He hides his smile and looks down.

Crisostomo could have sworn he heard the other boy mutter,  _‘Cute mo, tangina_ ,’ under his breath but he blames it on his concussion, he must be imagining things now. ‘Tara na nga, baka sarado na clinic.’ Then he scoots closer and interlocks Crisostomo’s hands with his own. He smiles at the boy and continued to march forward. Crisostomo walks in a daze, desperately trying not to swoon in the process. He blames it on the concussion, again.

* * *

_'The light is too blinding_ ,' was Crisostomo's first thought when they entered the school clinic. He squints his eyes and tried to adjust his sight from the bright light emanating above, which is agonizingly making his headache worse. He blinks blearily and moves his mouth, which was painfully dry. God, he is so thirsty. Elias still hasn't let go of his hand even though Crisostomo doesn't need it anymore. He would never admit it, not even to himself but he sort of... likes it.

They stop in front of the front desk, while Crisostomo is still fighting so hard not to pass out at that moment. It looks like Elias and the nurse were talking by the way their mouths are moving but all Crisostomo can hear are incoherent noises. Elias' dark brown eyes are narrowed. He has such a dark eyes, compared to his own stupid light browns. His brows are furrowed, like he's frustrated and angry. His nose is scrunched up in a weird, adorable way. Crisostomo shook his head, trying to undermine any of the awkwardness and tension he is feeling. Once again, he blames all his idiotic thoughts to his stupid concussion. He can distinctly feel Elias' hand snaking over his back, his touch was like power coursing through him, the very brush of his fingers tingles. He repressed a shiver.  
  
Still in a daze, he was walking. His feet was barely grazing the floor, he could have stumbled on his own feet, but Elias guides him. Concussion is a cold bitch, Crisostomo figures.  
  
The nurse and Elias let him sit on a white, plastic chair, squeezing his eyes and immediately regretting. His wound stings and throbs again, and he balls his fists with effort. He was briefly startled by a gloved hand gently touching his wounded head, examining the injury. ‘Just stay still, Mr. Ibarra. This may sting a bit,’ the nurse eased him in and started dabbing an antiseptic solution, thinly applied some cool ointment, then covered the wound with gauze and paper tape. She did all of this monotonously, like it was a routine. The wound was more of dull, pulsating ache now but Crisostomo still has a banging headache.

‘Um, miss, I think I still have a concussion,’ Crisostomo informs the nurse politely.

‘Right, I could prescribe you some Tylenol but that’s it,’ the nurse admonishes. ‘Go home and get rest. By the way, binilhan ka ng food and drinks ng boyfriend mo, which is good since you need sustenance.’

He didn’t even notice that Elias had gone. ‘Sorry,  _boyfriend_?’

The nurse looks at him with a knowing, but soft look. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not that conservative.’

‘I have a girlfriend, po.’ Why did that sound doubtful to him?

The nurse stares at him, ‘Sorry, I thought that you were together since…’

‘What?’

‘It’s nothing, none of my business,’ The nurse smiles kindly. ‘Take care of yourself, Mr. Ibarra.’

Crisostomo stares at the walls dumbfounded for a good minute, then quickly got up, swallowed the pill dry, and hurriedly grabs his things. He pushes the door, and was greeted by the sight of Elias. His gaze fell to the plastic bag he’s holding the back to Elias’ face. He looks tired, but his eyes are bright and animated. He takes in a deep breath. ‘We need to talk.’

There was a beat of silence, just the two of them staring at each other. ‘OK.’

Now that his head is clear and the headache somehow passed, they can talk about this whole… situation. Crisostomo hopes that when the talk, maybe they could stop meeting like this. Maybe then he’ll figure out what to do.

Maybe then he’ll stop being so confused with his feelings all the goddamn time.

They walked towards the school’s empty lot in total silence, save for the faint sound of wind rippling through their clothes and the squeaks of Elias’ white, but dirty sneakers. The quiet is the worst; Elias was acting like he is bracing for an impact. Which was a pretty good metaphor of what he’s going to do. The subdued noise from other students just a couple of blocks away from them makes him slightly nervous. Can they somehow hear them from over there?

He gulps and faces Elias. Here goes nothing...

He was about to open his mouth when the taller boy stopped him, handed him a pasty-white, round and squishy bread. He looked at it questioningly. 'Siopao?' Elias regarded him with a raise of an eyebrow. 'Don't tell me na hindi ka pa nakatikim niyan.'

'Of course, not!' Crisostomo says, hotly. He snatched the soft bread from his hands and gripped. It is as soft and squishy as it looked. 

'Look, Elias-' he started but was interrupted by a bottle of water he sprung in front of his face. He backs away, surprised but takes it, any way. Crisostomo chugs it down, grateful for being hydrated and cooled again. He caps the empty bottle and throws it to the nearest bin, shooting it perfectly. 'Just like what I've been trying-'

'I know what you're trying to say,' Elias interrupts him once again, not looking at him but instead at something... faraway. He looks sad. 'Gusto mong sabihin na mahal mo pa rin si Maria Clara. Gusto mong sabihin na walang kwenta yung panliligaw ko,' Crisostomo flushes at his wording, but Elias continued, even taking a bite of his "Siopao" every once in a while. 'Gusto mong sabihin na kahit kailan, hindi mo siya kayang iwan.'

'Yes,' the shorter boy stammers, his words are tumbling out of his mouth. He looks at Elias, stoic and is keeping a straight face. He starts to wonder if this is something he will regret in the future. Crisostomo clears his throat and mumbles, 'Look, even if I did broke up with MC, it won't change anything. It doesn't matter if you're my...' he pauses and looks at his hands. 'soulmate. It won't change how I feel.'

They were quiet for a while. Crisostomo keeps stealing glances from Elias, who is still staring unblikingly at nothing, and he cannot read or even guess what he's feeling. He is starting to hate that look. 

In a futile effort to lighten the tense, suffocating mood, he nudges the taller boy with his shoulder. 'Hey, we can still be friends. I know you're just trying to woo me, or whatever, because you think you're in love with me.' His breath hitches in his throat embrassingly. 'Or something.

Finally, Elias looks at him, his eyes full of unshed tears. But his face remain hard and his body eerily still. 'Akala mo hindi ako in love sa'yo?'

Crisostomo freezes. Somehow, he still managed to speak out. 'Are you?' he asks, his voice barely a whisper.  _Please don't answer that._

Suddenly, Elias' lips were on his own, and his warm hands were both on his hot cheeks, gripping lightly. Their noses are bumping at each other in the most intimate way, and he could feel Elias' long lashes tickling his cheeks.

There are not enough metaphors for 'fireworks' and 'sparks' that could ever describe what he's feeling right now. His mouth was demanding, and eager, but agonizingly slow and somehow unsure. Crisostomo groans, and opens his mouth, allowing him to slip his tongue inside. They both made noises of appreciation as the shorter boy tilted his head and responded the kiss with fervor. 

Crisostomo can't breathe.

Elias is biting his lower lip, and he responds with a whimper.

But somehow he knows if he stops, he's going to regret it.

However, it was over before it started as Elias breaks away, making Crisostomo chase his lips again. He stares at him over his dark, half-lidded eyes, and leaned in again, giving the shorter boy what he wanted. His lips are soft, and he tasted sweet. Crisostomo didn't know how his hands had started gripping at the his shirt, but he was clinging on it like he was at a verge of a cliff. But it was too late. 

He had fallen a long time ago.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyy i'm back bitches! (I hope this fic is still relevant to y'all.)
> 
> So I just started reading El Fili and am !!!!Not Liking!!!! how Ibarra turned out. Poor guy still hasn't moved on from Elias' death.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Yay, they kissed! Please leave a kudos or comment if you liked it <3
> 
> Ciao! - Kam


	6. Chapter 6

Next day, Crisostomo has been thrilled to go to school, more so than often. He even waited for a couple minute (fine, he was waiting longer than that) for a familiar, black motorbike (maybe he was waiting more for its rider) to park in the school lot. But alas, nothing. But Crisostomo was not disappointed, not at all.

Except for the fact that he was.

It feels like his entire universe has been flipped, like the answers he’s been desperately seeking was shoved upon him. A small, insignificant part of him is panicking, toxic guilt fills his stomach like bitter bile. However, for the most part he feels like he’s been starved. Starved for Elias’ fleeting touches, and firm, rousing kisses.

Alright, maybe, he had come to… reluctantly accept the possibility that Elias may had been his soulmate. The kiss had really been something else, and he cannot get it out of his mind. He hadn’t even gotten a wink of sleep, the damn kiss had been replaying on his mind in an endless loop.

It feels like that kiss awoken some kind of… hunger from him. Now, Crisostomo cannot stop thinking about the stupid, long-haired, irresistible idiot. He taps his foot, jittery and remembers the reverent look on Elias’ face when he broke away.

He blinks blearily, and was in mid-yawn when his professor suddenly spoke, ‘Alright, class, for my requirements for your composition-‘

Groans and quick protests erupted in the classroom, and Crisostomo had to fight off a sigh himself. So many deadlines and the stress for the preparations for the graduation and prom is really coming down on him. The major exams, fortunately, were over. Mr. Sevilla fights off a grin and shushes everyone. ‘Settle down!’

The noise eventually simmers down, but there are still some quiet murmurs heard. If Mr. Seville heard them, he certainly ignored them. ‘As I was saying, your next written work is an original short story or a poem.’

Crisostomo stop, he sat upright, fully awake. ‘Oh no.’

‘They have to be your own story, because I will know if copy-paste lang ‘yan sa iba.’

The class laughs while Crisostomo palms his face, already worrying of what he’s going to write.

‘OK, that’s all. You’re all dismissed except for the cleaners. Stay and clean your classrooms. ’With that his classmate bursts with noisy chatter and brazen roughhousing. Crisostomo, being one of the cleaners, is already up on his feet on the way to the brooms.

Damn, he’s going to screw this up, he can tell.

-

Crisostomo groans for the umpteenth time, staring at the blank document on his screen dejectedly. He has been here since free period, deciding to start early on his English work requirement, which unfortunately is to write your own story or poem.

You see, he was bad at writing stories or poems and proses. He was good- proficient, even at essay writing and theses but certainly not at poetic writing. He is unable to project his thoughts and feelings into paper. Now, analysing and theorising them might be easy, but not actually writing them.

Even music hasn’t helped.

Crisostomo has been playing his beloved OPM playlist and so far, it hasn’t sparked any inspiration to write something with actual depth.

Miserable, he takes a bite out of his tuna and mayo sandwich, munching unhappily as he slumps on his seat. He swallowed his food, deciding that eating suddenly feels uninteresting now and shoves it inside his lunch bag. Sighing, he rubs his tired eyes.

He would have never noticed that someone sat across if a hand hadn’t poked him on his arm. Startled, Crisostomo takes his earphones off and looks at his unexpected companions.

‘Hi, kuya Cris!’ They greeted, smiles wide (except for one) and immediately stuffed themselves in Cris’ personal space, yet he didn’t mind- these boys are very fond to him. ‘May bago kaming name!’

Crisostomo immediately grinned, prepared for the worst. ‘Oh? Do share, Juan.’

Juan smirked, then predictably stands on the bench where he was sitting and was about to belt out very loudly when-

‘No, stop! ‘Di mo kailangan sumigaw!’ Crisostomo laughed. Juan pouted and returned to his seat and leaned down, ‘Kami ‘ho nga pala ang SIRAULO SQUAD!’

Groans and a collective rolls of eyes erupted from their little group as Juan cackled. When they met, Crisostomo immediately knew that Juan Pelaez was the goofy, entertaining one out of the bunch. He was the class clown, and was proud of it.

‘Walang kwenta talaga mga ideas mo, Juanito,’ quipped Cido. He rolled his eyes as his slitted eyes are even more prominent now that there is a crease in his brows.

‘Sabi ng huwag mo ‘kong tawaging ganyan eh!’ Juan whined, clearly displeased. ‘Napakacorny.’

‘Bakit? Yun naman pinangalan sayo, diba?’ Cido hides a smile while he takes a bite of his cheeseburger.

There was Cido Penitente, who is half-Korean but never talks about it. He was usually quiet but Crisostomo knows that there is a hint of childishness in him, especially when he was with Juan. Most especially when he was arguing with him.

‘Pakamatay ka na, Placido.’

Cido’s nose flared, and he stayed quiet. He was clearly irritated, and Juan knows it. He grinned. ‘Oh, ba’t ka natahimik? Affected? Yun naman pinangalan sayo diba?’ Juan baited.

‘Oo nga pala, hindi po kami Siraulo Squad, kuya Cris. Wag ka pong maniwala kay Juan.’ A voice drawled, making Crisostomo turn his attention towards the source. Isagani Villanueva is resting his chin on his palm, while his left hand is fiddling with his phone.

‘Of course,’ Crisostomo replied, amused. He turns his head to look at Basilio, whose usually warm dark brown eyes are drooped dishearteningly.

‘You okay?’ Crisostomo asked, feeling the familiar brotherly sentiment towards his companion. He nods, but won’t look at him directly. Crisostomo frowns.

He had known Basilio de la Cruz since he was a baby, in fact he was one of the people who had seen him just after he was born. His mother, Sisa, worked for his father, and Crisostomo has grown to her and has known her since he was in his diapers. They had grown up, attached by the hip- practically brothers. Sisa and Basilio’s father met and fell in love while working for Crisostomo’s father, who wholeheartedly supported their relationship and even helped to assist their wedding. For a while, they were a perfect couple and almost had a second child when Sisa had a miscarriage. She fell into grief and often had bouts of episodes. Basilio’s father, Pedro, blamed Sisa for the unfortunate loss. He left his family (Basilio being no more than a couple year old.) aind after what had happened, that was the last resort for Sisa. With her mental health declining, she had decided to take her own life, and despite Crisostomo and his father’s valiant effort, Sisa would not let herself be saved.

Since that fateful day, Basilio became part of his family.

‘Usog nga!’

‘Ang laki-laki ng space mo diyan eh!’

‘Bulag ka ba? Sa sobrang sikip nga dito, feeling ko nasa PNR ako.’

‘Boys,’ he reprimanded lightly.

‘Sorry kuya!’ Juanito grins, then frowned immediately. ‘Eto kasing gagong to eh.’ He smacked Placido at the back of his head, making the taller boy’s nose flare in anger.

‘Punyeta ka talaga, salot ka sa buhay ko-!’

‘Hey, hey,’ Crisostomo, being the eldest, furrows his eyebrows and used his best serious voice. ‘Language, ha.’

Both boys mutter their apologies, and went quiet, resorting to huffing and glaring at each other. Crisostomo smiles fondly and turns his attention to Basilio. Worry overwhelms and he scoots closer to the boy, ‘Sure you’re okay?’

Basilio was quiet for a while, and just as Crisostomo decided to give him space when he suddenly speaks up, ‘Feeling ko po kasi bagsak ako sa Social Sciences eh.’ He drops his head on the table, fiddling with his uniform glumly. Crisostomo softened at the sight of the boy who he has considered as his brother.

‘Hey, I get it, I’m struggling with English Lit requirement, too.’ He turns his laptop towards Basilio’s direction, showing a blank page of a document. ‘But I’m still trying, and I’m still figuring it out. You can’t give up, okay? I believe in you, kaya mo yan.’ Crisostomo encouraged the young boy, offering a tiny grin.

‘Thanks, kuya Cris.’ Basilio smiles genuinely, though his eyes are still troubled and his demeanour unchanging. Nevertheless, the older boy just ruffled his hair fondly.

‘Okay lang yan, Basilio,’ Juan pats Basilio’s back from across the table. ‘Basta kahit anong mangyari, pogi pa rin ako.’

Isagani sniggered, eyes darting between Juan and his phone, to which he is typing rapidly. ‘Probably texting his girlfriend.’

Crisostomo rests his arm on Basilio’s shoulders. ‘Uy, you always have these guys to help you out. Right?’ He turns his head to the three boys infront of them.

‘ALRIGHT, SIRAULO SQUAD!’ Juan whoops. Crisostomo snorts.

‘Basilio, tutor nalang kita, gusto mo?’ Cido offers after a beat of silence, his expression nothing but serious. Crisostomo and Juan looks at him in surprise, while Isagani stops texting to look at Basilio’s reaction, which was full of hope.

‘Talaga? Nakakahiya naman,’ Basilio looks down, red tinged in his cheeks.

‘Nah, hindi siya libre,’ Cido says bluntly.

Basilio pales.

‘Relax, hindi kita pababayarin ng pera. Um, since magaling ka naman sa Math, turuan mo ako. Doon ka nalang bumawi?’

Crisostomo butts in. ‘That’s good, you could help each other out!’

‘Sige ba!’ Basilio gleefully agrees, leaning across the table. Crisostomo beams, somewhat proud, then all of a sudden, the hairs on his forearm stood and he shivers- his eyes fell to a set of dark brown, almost black eyes that he has grown to familiarise with. Elias’ gaze was intense and unbreakable. Crisostomo, determined, maintained eye contact despite the rapidly increasing pulse rate.

Elias looks away first, making Crisostomo frown.

-

It was dismissal, but Crisostomo and Maria Clara had stayed inside the campus, sitting on the grass peacefully. Crisostomo was still working on his work, frustrated and desperate for anything to write that he started researching about Filipino mythologies and folklore as he listens to his OPM playlist while Maria Clara was on his side, reading a leather-bound book.

Honestly, he doesn’t know what to feel around Maria Clara anymore. He still loves her, of course, just.. not as intense as before. His face doesn’t heat up every time she touches him, his interest for ever being with her with romantic endeavours went from slim to none. It’s like, there wasn’t any romance to begin with.

Nonetheless, he still enjoys her company. And it’s nice to be with someone you’re comfortable with.

Crisostomo frowns, giving up to Filipino literature and moving into Greek mythology, which ashamedly he’s more familiar with. He enters a site where the Greek gods, goddesses, and heroes’ tales were told. He smiles, his eyes skimming into a certain god: Apollo.

Apollo has many adventures, being the god of sun chariot, music, poetry, and even prophecies. He was beautiful, and vain. And unlike Zeus, when he loves- he loves deeply. He courts humans, nymphs, and fellow gods before pursuing them. He took time to chase around them, reckless of being hurt. Apollo was not his favourite (that title goes to Hades) but he was close.

Crisostomo was reading up the section dedicated to Apollo’s affairs and dalliances, when he caught sight of the relationships the god had. He clicks on it, briefly skims when a name surprised him. Apollo and Hyacinthus.

_“In the literary myth, Hyacinthus was a beautiful youth and lover of the god Apollo, though he was also admired by Zephyrus, the West Wind. Apollo and Hyacinthus took turns throwing the discus. Hyacinthus ran to catch it to impress Apollo, was struck by the discus as it fell to the ground, and died. A twist in the tale makes Zephyrus responsible for the death of Hyacinthus. His beauty caused a feud between Zephyrus and Apollo. Jealous that Hyacinth preferred the radiant Apollo, Zephyrus blew Apollo's discus off course to kill Hyacinthus._

_When Hyacinthus died, Apollo did not allow Hades to claim the youth; rather, he made a flower, the hyacinth, from his spilled blood. According to Ovid's account, the tears of Apollo stained the newly formed flower's petals with the sign of his grief.”_

He frowns. He didn’t know Apollo was in love with human male. A foreign feeling washes over him, unaware but intrigued by the possibility. Crisostomo feels his lips flatten, giddy for the revelation but emphatic for Apollo’s tragedy. Enthralled by the tale, he keeps reading but was interrupted by a tap on his shoulders. He takes his earphones off.

‘Hey, are you writing about the Olympians?’ An excited, but small voice asked. Crisostomo turns to look at a pensive Maria Clara, she was grinning- obviously interested. Crisostomo returns the smile, equally excited. ‘Yeah! But I was thinking, more modern?’

Maria Clara crooned, definitely invested. ‘Ooh, make it like an incarnation thing!’

Now, Crisostomo’s head is bursting with ideas. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? He was about to open his mouth when suddenly, he feels it again. He shivers, body on high alert and he looks wildly for anything… something when his eyes stopped at Elias, once again. He was looking at him with such vigour, but his eyes seemed… wrong.

He looked mad. Maybe even disappointed.

Crisostomo looks away, returning to his research, but with mind troubled. He thinks back to their kiss, and stiffens- had he.. Had Elias regretted it?

Once the thought had crossed his mind, it was like a seed had been planted in his mind. It flourishes, like unwanted weed. He touches his wrist very carefully. Doubt, embarrassment, and confusion floods Crisostomo’s entire being- did he do something wrong? Didn’t Elias enjoy the kiss?

He grips the grass beneath him, agitatedly racking his brain for any bullshit he’s done (aside from of course, the obvious denial.) He curses under his breath- that must be it. Perhaps, Elias had grown tired of his-

‘Cris? Babe?’ A voice snapped him out of his internal ramble. Maria Clara was looking at him strangely. He looks up.

‘What?’

‘I said I’m gonna go, apparently there is an emergency at home.’ Maria was still smiling, but Crisostomo could see the anxiety in her eyes and the way she’s fidgeting with her blouse. He hadn’t even realised that she already stood up.

‘Want me to go with you?’ Crisostomo says, but he’s already packing his things up. Maria hurriedly interrupts him, ‘Nah, I’ll be fine. Besides, you have a lot to do.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah,’ she smiles and leans over to kiss his cheek. ‘Thank you anyway.’

‘Yeah, no prob…’ Crisostomo trails off, uncomfortable. He watches her walk away, raising a hand awkwardly when Maria turns around and gives a small wave. He stares, aloof into the distance until he shakes himself out of his own reverie, and focuses on his work, putting his earphones on again.

He was interrupted. Again.

Slightly annoyed, he tears his earphones off. Politely he declares, ‘Sorry, I actually have a lot to do today, so if you don’t min-‘ He stops abruptly when he turns around.

It was Elias.

Nervously, he greets him. ‘Hey.’ Crisostomo applauds himself internally for not letting his voice crack.

‘Hi,’ the taller boy replies as he sits, cross-legged, on the grass, right next to Crisostomo. He doesn’t miss the fact there is a considerably large gap between the two of them. So, he really is mad. He doesn’t know why that realisation weighs him down.

‘Ano binabasa mo?’ He leans down to his laptop, and he was so close that Crisostomo’s breath hitches. He could count the exact second his heart started picking up- fuck, when did he become such.. a girl?

‘Um,’ he says intelligently, staring at the mop of Elias’ hair. He wonders if it feels as soft as it looks.

Elias, the absolute bastard, turns towards him and his face is so close, Crisostomo felt like having a heart attack right at that moment. This idiot is killing him, and the way his gaze are flicking back and forth between Crisostomo’s eyes and mouth makes him want to dash forward and kiss him senseless. ‘May sasabihin ako sayo,’ he mutters, looking anywhere but him. Still, his voice is hushed and oddly soothing.

‘I fucking knew it, he hates me,’ Crisostomo thinks miserably. ‘Fuck it, might as well ask him why,’

Crisostomo threw caution to the wind and blurted, ‘Was it so terrible?’

‘Ha?’

‘The kiss!’ He cries, and immediately flushes. ‘I don’t know if it was me being a bad kisser, or something, or maybe you just really hated me, I don’t fucking know!’ He slams his laptop shut, frustrated. There was a pause, and when Crisostomo looks at Elias, he’s wearing strangely reverent expression on his face. ‘What?’ He asks flatly.

Elias shakes his head, then produces a big grin. ‘Wala, akala ko kasi galit ka sakin.’

‘Of course not, why would I be?’

‘Ah,’ Elias looks down and Crisostomo almost did a double take at how shy he suddenly becomes. A timid Elias? That’s certainly new. ‘Kasi… hinalikan kita? At tumakbo ka pagkatapos nun?’

‘It was just a kiss.’ He stutters out. Elias’ face falls, and he looks away. Crisostomo bites his lower lip, and looks at his hands. ‘Sorry I ran away.’

Elias shrugs. Crisostomo doesn’t know what to say so he takes a deep breaths and says the words threatening to spill from his lips, but this time he lets it- lets the words flow from him like raging lava erupting from a volcano. ‘I… didn’t hate it.’

‘Ano?’

‘On the contrary, I liked it.’ He admits, and he realises that it was the truth and he feels terrified. He knows he’s wading in dangerous waters, but he can’t stop- it was as if if he stops talking, these words will leave him and will never come back. So, he keeps talking because this is what he wanted to say. ‘A lot,’ he added.

Elias’ beams, his face lighting up, and Crisostomo worries that if he keeps grinning like that, he might rip his face off. His face is pink too, and he’s looking at Crisostomo like he’s the stars and sun combined. Crisostomo rolls his eyes and covers the taller boy’s face with his right hand, ‘Stop looking at me like that, you jackass.’

‘Sorry,’ He stops looking at Crisostomo, but his huge-ass smile is still present. He removes Crisostomo’s right hand and places it on his lap, looking at it serenely. He watches his every movement; the way he touches his hand fleetingly, like it was the most precious stone in the world. Then he lifts his hand and brings it closer to his face, then he looks at him straight in the eye, and brushes his lips on his knuckles. It was intimate, and Crisostomo loved it more than he should.

Crisostomo’s breath was knocked out of him, he didn’t even care if other people could see them now. All he knows is Elias, and he’s kissing his hand.

Then, Elias was rolling his blue sweater, and he hears his breath caught- Crisostomo crinkles his forehead then realises that Elias was looking at his wrist… with his name on it. His face was full of awe and rapture- it was endearing. He looks at Crisostomo then at his wrist, and then Elias places his palm on his cheeks and turns his head ever so slightly, kissing his wrist. His eyes were shut, long lashes framing his face, and Crisostomo can’t help but tenderly stroke his thumb on the taller boy’s cheeks. Elias smiles, again.

-

Crisostomo clenched the steering wheel, mind still reeling from… what had happened. After the whole… wrist thing, Elias gave him one last longing look, and a chaste, playful kiss on the cheeks before announcing that he was late for his club and left, just like that.

The light has turned red, just as he pressed the brakes slowly. He sighs and palms his face, his traitor mind replaying what just happened. His fingernails scratches the leather on the surface of steering wheel, trying to calm his wild, thumping heart.

Crisostomo pulls the sleeves from his navy blue sweater, and looks at his wrists. _E… L…_ The black imprint of his soulmate’s name contrasts greatly with his tanned, moreno skin. _I… A… S._ Suddenly, a small smile spreads on his face. He traces the name with a finger, gently grazing each letter.  It stood out, like it was teasing him. ‘This is the truth,’ it seemed to say. He acknowledges it; accepts it even.

He rolls the sleeves all the way to his forearm, and suddenly hears the loud honking from his back. He quickly stepped on the pedal, his car roaring back to life. Occasionally he looks at the name on his wrist, and if he smiles while doing so, no one has to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyyyy it's ya boi, skinny penis with her overdue update LMAOOOO im sorry im terrible. i actually have this draft for awhile but idkkkk, i hate it and ik it's weirdly phased SHAME ME PLS
> 
> ALSO;;; SIRAULO SQUAD OMG i love my boys and ik their names are weird but i had to idk,,, profile them somehow loLZZZ 
> 
> also if you're a voltron then my answer to your question is yes i did base off placido and juanito from klance LET ME LIVE
> 
> hope you enjoyed or whatever *sweats
> 
> \- kam uwu

**Author's Note:**

> come scream about elibarra with me on [tumblr!](https://kamwashere.tumblr.com)


End file.
